Encourage Please!
Part two of encouragement or praise.
As a result of my professional goal (blog-Encouragement or Praise) I was asked to describe internal control for young children. One of the goals of early care is internal control. My intentions were good however my answer needed refining!
I found that three words, self-regulation, self-control and internal control are used interchangeably to describe the process of learning expected social behavior. Should we praise or encourage to get the desired results? We want all children to learn the process of internal control. How do we help young children achieve this?
The simplest way to answer that is by the environment that we set up. My colleague made a wonderful point about each individual child’s unique set of circumstances and temperament. Children need flexible adults to help acquire the skills of self-regulation.
The point is environment matters. As early childhood educators we must learn which types of phrases encourage and acknowledge. We alternately need to know which phrases are external empty praise remarks.
When we praise it needs to be specific and not far reaching or generic please refer to the list below. Doc1 for a bigger view.
•Phrases to avoid since they impose • Phrases to consider that help
outside “authority”, external control or children develop their own worth and
simply your opinion. It is best to allow not the worth you impose, which
the child to value his/her own effort, might seem impossible to measure
work or outcome. up to.
Encouragement or Praise
My professional goal for 2015 was to acknowledge the difference between encouragement and praise and then incorporate the findings into my practice. I knew that I wanted to encourage children rather than praise them.
I was looking to eliminate from my practice praise statements where I put a value on the child’s work, ideas or accomplishments. I started my research by noticing how much I said “good job” and “I like_____” as both phrases are praise as are other statements that are similar to this.
I replaced these statements with comments that at first sounded bland to me and perhaps even phony but they allow the children to internalize and decide for themselves a value on their accomplishment. I now try to use specific observation such as; “you used yellow”, “you got your boots”, “you figured it out”, “you tried hard” or encouragement such as a simple high five, thumbs up or smile works if you observe the child to be proud, happy or accomplished.
My ultimate goal is for your child to feel good from the inside out and not need strokes of empty praise from those around him/her.