30 years
As I watched the sun come up this morning it is another beautiful day here on Cape Cod. I reflect on the name my mom chose for me, Robin. I am the early bird, I am aptly named.
Today marks the beginning of year 30 at the Friendship Garden Nursery School, Inc.
I was once a 33-year-old with big, big dreams. I am so grateful and fortunate to have been able to live out those dreams for the past 29 years running my own business with an additional 9 years working for the original owner of the property.
We’ve seen plenty of change throughout the years. The most significant was in 2020 when we reinvented ourselves and now follow the philosophy of play based, child lead, nature inspired early childhood education. We have found our most success, of all our years, during this time.
I’ve met and worked with some incredible teachers so dedicated to the field of early childhood education. We collaborated to make FG fun place to work and a safe and fun place for children to learn. We also advocated for professional recognition and adequate compensation. Yes, we are still working on these things!
To the children I have met over the years, you are incredible human beings. I am so fortunate to still be in contact with some of you, including some of my first children that are now in their early 40’s! I am so fortunate to have some of their children!
Families, together we have shared our happiness and sorrow and you’ve shared yours with us. Thank you for finding us and allowing us to partner with you on your parenting journey. We are honored to be a part of your lives.
Looking back to look ahead I am enthusiastic and energized to begin yet another school year. A special thanks and shout out to my early team members that taught me hard work and resilience. To my first husband, he was there by my side opening the business with me I owe him my heartfelt thanks. To my current team of teachers whom have taught me; compassion, cooperation, collaboration, and trust allowing for my semi retirement, I am so appreciative of your support.
To my husband, Victor my life could not be better so grateful to have you in it!
2025-2026 here we come.
Rest Time
I often see early educators ask on different platforms how to handle non-sleepers at rest time. Most teachers seem to ask because it is very stressful time of day in a classroom. Responses often include quoting a state requirement for rest and also the range of answers from giving children “busy bags” or books to listening to audio stories to not requiring a rest time. All fine ideas that one would hope does not add to the stress that occurs for educators during “rest” time.
Some people claim rest time to be for curriculum planning and breaks. In my opinion this is what creates a hardship. The teachers have an agenda for themselves so it gets SO frustrating if they can’t accomplish what they expect. The expectation that teachers plan or break during rest is doomed to failure.
You need to know what your philosophy of rest time is. We should not see it as controlling children. There are schools that allow children to choose to rest where other children do not choose to rest. This is when you need to define your philosophy. We believe that everyone needs down time, a time to slow down, re-set and self regulate. We help our children to rest by setting the stage for rest. We cover the toys, dim the lights, and start with quiet music. We model our own rest time by quietly reading a book, writing notes, working on portfolios or messaging parents. We do not scurry about the room but rather sit quietly attending to our tasks. We use big pieces of flat cardboard to make partitions between children if needed.
We need to trust that children know their own bodies and we also need to help them to see that a resting period is healthy.
“Bad” Words
This post was written in part by Delaney Driscoll , Friendship Garden Nursery School Educator
You are not alone if you experience your child expressing themselves using bad or swear words!
Children hear the language being used around them, think about what you said when getting cut off in traffic, or dropping a bag in a hurry getting out the door. Children repeat this in and out of context. We appreciate that they are using their words to communicate how they feel, and also we’re trying to model for them more descriptive, appropriate replacement exclamations when we can.
We say silly things or use constructive language depending on the situation, children are usually not trying to be hurtful or “bad” they are being expressive. We appreciate families that help us explain why we can’t use those words since we can’t give meaning or explanation to them.
Next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, what will you say?
Re-Thinking Loose Parts
There is so much written about loose parts. I have recently enjoyed reading about loose parts in an “untraditional” way. As I am wondering about and embracing the philosophy that nearly everything can be a loose part, I find it’s really a mindset for your classroom rather than about any specific materials.
When we think of loose parts we are likely thinking of those objects we add to the environment rather than the environment itself. Tree cookies, velcro hair rollers, sticks, boxes, clips, and tires quickly come to mind as materials that children can use any way they can imagine. But what about tables, chairs, all weather and even art materials.
If we are not directing children as to how they must use these materials they will undoubtedly use them as loose parts. As always there are safety guidelines that need to be followed.
How will you see your child care surroundings differently?
Recharge and Renew
How do you practice self care? Is it enough to fill your cup and recharge you for the role of caregiver?
I find more and more people with more and more on their plates from caring for parents or raising grandchildren, to having an ill family member to working while going to school full time.
How do you plan for the R and R that all staff needs while operating a full time center? It is true we have a negative attitude when an educator needs to call out. Often for personal reasons or one has fallen ill due to the stress of life/work or let’s face it, winter illness and finally burnout. We need to regroup and see this as a valuable time for our colleagues to recharge! What about teachers who are also parents? We all need the time to recharge and renew to come back to work ready to work. Let’s try to put a positive spin on teacher’s finding time to take care of themselves.
An empty caregiver cannot “care’ at all. Take care.
Team
How do you see your team? Director, educators and assistant educators (or other labels) that differentiate members of the team or do you see people with the power to lead, choose and decide within your organization? I am working towards the latter and the shift is hard!
When you lead with equity, everyone has a voice, a say, an opinion to develop their workspace. Allow team members to excel with the skill set they have as you work to develop more leadership abilities. For me it has been really hard to step back and allow others to step forward, which by the way they do, if this is a fear of yours it may be unfounded!
I also recently became keenly aware of the difference between delegating responsibilities and authorizing decision making. Delegating was saying, here’s a task to complete, do it like this, it doesn’t have to be that way but for me it was. Authorizing on the other hand is, allowing another to make the decision or do the task, etc. the way they choose.
We all would like to be irreplaceable but the fact of the matter is we are all replaceable. How would you like to spend your time?
Relationship is the Basis of Learning
Relationship is the basis of all learning. The strongest relationships in the classroom result in the most learning for those students. Children show us that they can regulate emotions and behavior in an environment where they are seen as trusted and capable members of a shared community. When we value the presence of the children they thrive.
As early educators we have to put all our stereotypes and negative emotions on hold while we see each child for their unique traits. If we experience a non supportive behavior in ourselves during a child’s emotional journey, we should be honest in naming our feelings and make retribution in this relationship as in all relationships. We have to capitalize on finding and keeping the best qualities of each of us and each child at the forefront to build the best relationships and thus the most supportive learning environment.
As a strength based child led program we strive to find the positive and uniqueness in each individual both children and adults alike. It is very honest to recognize when a relationship is hard to maintain and seek the help of another educator to work through the frustration that inevitably crops up. We all have had that “one” child or parent that has tested our abilities and forced us to grow.
The work is worth it when you see the child make great strides in their social emotional development in the classroom.
Gender Neutrality
As we continue to evolve in our practice, we strive to recognize and value each and every human being exactly as they are. One way we can achieve this is by using the person’s name and not assuming a gender unless we are expressly told one. At Friendship Garden we try to avoid using gender for separating children into groups for management and prefer to use alternatives for this. Proximity is one way to be neutral. Group names might be another. Using other identifying characteristics like hair color can be a slippery slope.
Taking this a little farther away from gender specifically, we believe all equipment and activities, all colors, and all toys are for all children to use and explore equally. It is very difficult to break these stereotypes especially when people at home may be reinforcing traditional gender roles and telling children they must be/act in a specific manner. There is a balance between home and school where we must be respectful and also support an inclusive community at school.
The more we become aware of our stereotypes and remain open to people that help us see our blind spots the more equitable we become as a team.
What are some ways you are gender and otherwise equitable in your classroom?
Standard Operating Procedures
I used to think this was a boring and useless topic. I did not see the relevance of having things “out of my head” after all my successor at some point will want to “do their own thing”. And then several years ago I was working with a business coach (I highly recommend doing so) and he recommended writing Standard Operating Procedures.
We began to outline Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) to help the business run smoothly when ANY key player is absent for a period of time. I completed a comprehensive outline and set it on the back burner. Fast forward to fall 2024. I slipped and broke my wrist in 2 places and have been slowly recovering from that break! This episode opened my eyes to being prepared to be unavailable or unable to work.
I have been slowly adding the meat to the bones of the documents. I started by re-tracing my daily activities as well as the actions of other early childhood educators everyday to write a comprehensive document for Administration and one for Educators.
The outcome so far is a deeper understanding of how I spend my time during the day and better time management as a result of this. Documenting this important information has freed up my time to see where process improvements could be made. The document also makes me feel more secure that in case of an emergency there are protocols and procedures that anyone could follow.
My takeaway is do the “boring stuff” it could really save the day!
Nutrition or the Lack Thereof
Has anyone noticed the decline of actual nutritious whole food in lunchboxes and elsewhere?
There is so much processed and pre-packaged food on the market making it very easy for parents to grab and go, which is a good for busy families. The downside to this ease is too much sugar, sodium and chemicals AND very little nutrition. Understanding that parents are used to this convenience as a part of their own history is also important.
Anecdotally, we see a clear difference in the children’s behavior. The children that primarily eat prepackaged food are more dis-regulated in their emotions and behavior than children that have home made items and whole fruits and vegetables.
How should we approach this nutrition crisis? Parents have enough on their plates to make a lot of changes, therefore we need to support them in making small changes at a time. One switch might be substituting one prepackaged item with a banana or apple to a lunchbox. One small change at a time can add up to a more nutritious lunch and health changes.
Here are some in our opinion good lunch examples:
